Discuss: How Do You Discipline Your Child?
For this week's Moms Talk, we want to know how handle peer pressure's effect on your kids and when/how to discuss the dangers of sex, drugs and alcohol.
Usually each Wednesday in Moms Talk, our Moms Council of Melrosians take your questions, give advice and share solutions.
This week, we're trying something different—we want to hear from you! After all, Melrose Patch isn't a one-way broadcasting station. This is a community site and you're a big part of it, so we want to hear your thoughts.
If you want to submit a question, or if you're interested in joining the Melrose Patch Moms Council—which means weighing in with your thoughts each week on the question of the day—e-mail editor Daniel DeMaina at danield@patch.com.
So grab a cup of coffee and settle in as we start the conversation in the comments section with today's question ...
Discipline: From the naughty chair to grounded for life. How do your discipline your children and make the punishment fit the crime, so to speak?
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Lisa Wilson-Wright
12:46 pm on Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Because our son has pretty severe behavioral issues, we've tried a lot of things. But, the one we always use to some extent is the time out, varying the length for the offense but also the frequency of the offense. However, we also use lots of frequent praise for positive behaviors, the complement to the discipline.
Kate House
2:25 pm on Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Nothing sound more obnoxious than saying "We don't have to worry about discipline too much," but here I am saying it: We don't have to worry about discipline too much. This is not to say we don't deal with it or need to use it, because we definitely do. I think it's been a linear kind of process: We set rules from the time our daughter was one year old and we've stuck to them, with slight aberrations here and there. If she pushes the limits of what she is allowed to do (and we're pretty decent in the laid-back department), then there are always consequences--and that's that. I realize that sounds a little pat and possibly holier-than-thou, but I swear it's worked so far. Sure, sometimes (mostly at the end of the day, when I'm exhausted) I come thisclose to just saying forget it, go ahead and play with the toy I threatened to take away/eat the dessert I said you couldn't have/stay up past when I said you could, but then I rally for just long enough to carry through. I think it's more self-preservation that anything else, honestly.
All that being said, I sense that my time is coming in the teenage years. Somehow I don't think "No more Littlest Pet Shop!" works as well when the child in question is 15 years old.
Betsey Benagh
6:59 am on Thursday, September 29, 2011
Like Kate, we set rules when the kids were small and stuck to them. Both kids certainly push the limits, but when they do, there's an immediate and related consequence, generally a loss of some privilege. As they get older, they value their privileges more (think staying home alone, doing things with friends, etc.) so it's actually easier in some ways. Honestly, too, they're at the point where me telling them that I'm disappointed in them is actually pretty effective.
Jennifer Kelly
5:11 pm on Thursday, September 29, 2011
Here is a great parent resource that is starting soon! Melrose Substance Abuse Prevention Coalition is once again offering the Parent Guiding Good Choices Workshops free to Melrose residents. Guiding Good Choices is a 5-session workshop series proven to strengthen family bonds, foster better communication skills, and decrease the chances of risky behavior in children. It is open to adults who are raising children ages 9 to 14. Anyone working with this age group is also encouraged to participate. Melrose residents may attend this workshop series with a $10 fee to cover the required Family Guide. (Non-Melrose resident fee is $125.)
The Fall 2011 Guiding Good Choices® Parent Workshop Series is as follows: Tuesday Evening Workshop, 6:30-9 p.m Roosevelt School, Oct. 18, 25, Nov. 1, 8,15.
Wednesday Evening Workshop, 6:30-9 p.m Lincoln School, Oct. 19, 26, Nov. 2,9,16
Thursday Evening Workshop, 6:30-9 p.m. Melrose Middle School, Oct 20, 27, Nov 3,10,17
Friday Mornings Workshop, 9-11:30 a.m. Methodist Church, Oct. 21, 28, Nov 4,11,18
Deadline to register is October 11th.
If you are interested in learning more or registering for an upcoming workshop series, contact Melissa Ripley (mripley@cityofmelrose.org ) at 781-979- 4130 or Jennifer Kelly (jkelly@cityofmelrose.org ) at 781-979-4128.