MHS Seniors Learn Lessons About Sexual Assault

On April 24, I went back to high school – if only in spirit. Along with this year's senior class of Melrose High School, I attended an assembly on Sexual Assault Awareness. The event, held during the month designated as National Sexual Assault Awareness Month, made me realize just how much has changed since I’ve graduated from high school…and just how much has stayed the same.

This assembly was sponsored by the Melrose Alliance Against Violence and  led by members of the High School’s  Student Action Board, and students heard from two passionate speakers. The first was a young woman who had survived sexual assault and shared an emotional story of living in and escaping from an abusive relationship. The second speaker was Dave Hoffman, a former trainer with the Center for the Study of Sport in Society at Northeastern University and current Senior Manager of Community Relations for the Boston Celtics. Both presenters reached out to the students in the audience, engaging them in very different ways.

A Real, Relatable Story

The young woman who spoke has asked that we not share any identifying details about her story. And, really, we don’t have to: what happened to her could have happened to anyone you know. She told the students about a boy she met at a party while she was in high school, and how their relationship progressed, with much of the communication taking place online. He pressured her into physical acts and ultimately into having sex with him, by telling her things like, “It’s not a big deal, everyone’s doing it,” and “If you really loved me, you would do this for me.”

So she did. Her story was not one of a violent sexual assault, but rather of abuse that arose out of months and years of coercion, of verbal and emotional manipulation. She was forced into doing things she was not ready and willing to do – and the effects have lasted for years. She was depressed, and her grades suffered. It was only at the urging of a later partner that she was able to seek help for herself, and ultimately speak to other students to help them avoid the kind of abuse she had suffered.

Why This Matters to You

The next speaker, Dave Hoffman, reached out to the students in the audience who may have thought that sexual assault and violence against women were not issues that mattered to them. Mr. Hoffman urged the students to think about a woman they know – a mother, a sister, or a friend – and told them that if there’s a woman in their life, these issues must matter. He spoke about the power of bystanders, the legal definitions of consent and rape, and the relationship between alcohol and sexual assault. His engaging manner and tales of working with professional athletes grabbed many of the students in the crowd, especially some of the males who may not have been quite so engaged otherwise.

I didn’t have this kind of assembly when I was in high school, but I wish I did. It provided plenty of information for these students as they head off to college or on to the next phase of their lives. Some of this information – the links between alcohol and sexual assault, the definitions of consent and rape – are the same as they were when I was heading off to college. But today’s students face entirely new dangers, too, in the form of tools like Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter that have unfortunately been used add an entirely new dimension to cases of sexual assault.

Sexual Assault Awareness Month is dedicated to raising awareness about sexual violence and educating communities and individuals on how to prevent it from happening. Sexual assault is far more common than many people might realize. The video posted with this article, which was created by students and teachers at MHS and shown at the assembly, drives home that point:

One of the keys to prevention, according to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center is to “Talk early, talk often.” Here in Melrose, that’s exactly what we aimed to do this month. Now that the month is ending, I hope the conversation will continue.

Download the movie